Self-Esteem
"... Embracing this notion of 'sometimes, it's rough'". - Cecilia Suarez, Navigating Self-Worth and Internal Validation in College, TED2016
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-Esteem is how we perceive our own value. It affects how we take care of ourselves physically and emotionally. Factors that define our self-esteem are:
- Self-confidence - a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment.
- Feeling of security - feeling safe, stable, and free from fear or anxiety.
- Identity - the characteristics that make up who you are.
- Sense of belonging - an emotional need for interpersonal relationships.
- Feeling of competence - the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.
Your level of self-esteem can determine how much influence you have over the following:
- If you enjoy and value yourself
- How much time you take for self-care
- Decision-making skills (being passive or assertive)
- If you acknowledge your strengths
- Believing you matter and are good enough
- Believing you deserve happiness
- Your desire to try new or challenging things
- If you are being kind to yourself
- If you can move on from past mistakes
- If you place unnecessary blame on yourself
There are three types of self-esteem:
HEALTHY
- Sense of self is accurate and balanced
- Grounded in reality about who you are
- Feeling practical and confident in your abilities
- Recognizing and trying to improve upon your flaws
INFLATED (TOO HIGH)
- Feeling superior to others
- Preoccupied with being perfect or always being right
- Overestimating your skills and abilities (believing you cannot fail)
- Underestimating other's skills and abilities
- Boasting and expressing grandiose ideas
LOW
- Believing that others are better than you
- Difficult to express your needs
- Preoccupied with your weaknesses and flaws
- Believe others are more capable and successful
- Putting little to no value on your opinions, ideas, and abilities
Here are some signs for negative (inflated or low) self-esteem:
INFLATED
- Arrogance
- Desire to be recognized as special
- Exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Sense of entitlement to special treatment
- Tendency to exaggerate accomplishments or talents
- Needing external validation to feel good about one self
LOW
- Withdrawal from socializing
- Trouble accepting or refusing to accept compliments
- Being harsh or critical toward yourself
- Making self-depreciating jokes
- Downplaying your achievements
- Constantly comparing yourself to others
- Avoiding challenges for fear of failing
- Thinking you don’t deserve to have fun
- Always blaming yourself when things go wrong
- Sensitivity to disapproval or criticism
- Thinking other people are better than you
- Feeling sad, depressed, anxious, ashamed, angry or worthless
Having a healthy level of self-esteem can help you be...
- Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions
- Confident in your ability to make decisions
- Able to form secure and honest relationships
- Less likely to stay in unhealthy relationships
- Realistic in your expectations and less likely to be overcritical of yourself and others
- More resilient and better able to weather stress and setbacks
Unchecked issues with self-esteem can have social, psychological, and even physical consequences.
Having too high self-esteem can lead to:
- Substance abuse
- Anxiety
- Mood disorders
- Violence
- Suicide
Having too low self-esteem can lead to:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Substance abuse
- Violence
- Suicide
- Eating disorders
Body Image and Self-Esteem
Body image is the combination of thoughts you have about your body based on your experiences and perceptions of them.
Body image and self-esteem are direct influences on each other. A healthy perception of your body will increase your self-esteem and encourage healthy behaviors. On the other hand, a negative perception of your body can lead to lower self-esteem and/or:
- Disordered eating
- Relationship problems
- Body dysmorphic disorder
- Mood disorders
- Muscle dysmorphia
- Self-harm tendencies
You may have a positive body image if:
- You see and think of yourself as a whole person, not a collection of specific body parts.
- You accept and celebrate the uniqueness of your natural body shape and size.
- You understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
- You feel comfortable and confident in your body, and avoid worrying about food, weight, and counting calories.
You may have a negative body image if:
- You focus on your body’s weight and perceived flaws.
- You feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about your body.
- You’re convinced you would be happier or “better” if you were thin.
- You believe that only other people are attractive.
- You exercise to lose weight or to “make up” for calories that you’ve eaten.
- Being teased about appearance in childhood
- Growing up in a household where emphasis is placed on appearance
- Surrounded by others experiencing body dissatisfaction and engaging in dieting or weight control behaviors
- The cultural tendency to judge people by their appearance
- Peer pressure to compare yourself with others
- Media and advertising images that promote certain appearance ideals
- Public health campaigns that urge people to lose weight (has an unexpected, adverse effect of lowering self-esteem)
These tips from Here To Help are great ways to start reshaping your perception of your body!
- Start off small!
- Dress in a way that makes you feel good.
- Get rid of all the clothes in your closet that don’t fit.
- This includes clothes that you can wear only when dieting and clothes you wear to draw attention away from your body shape.
- Donate or put away clothing that is too small.
- Treat your body with respect.
- Eat balanced meals with a variety of nutritious foods.
- Enjoy regular, moderate exercise to feel your body move and grow stronger, not just to burn calories and control body fat.
- Get enough rest.
- Don’t judge yourself and others based on weight, shape, or size.
- Start changing your perception of body standards.
- Respect people based on the qualities of their character and accomplishments, not for their appearance.
- Surround yourself with positive friends and family who recognize your uniqueness and like you just as you are.
If you are struggling with this problem, consider meeting with a counselor from the WKU Counseling Center.
